Be Not So Fearful: My 2018 in Review

tara lynne ageeksaga 2018

As I settle in to spend Christmas Eve with my family, eating and exchanging presents, followed by drinking wine and watching Elf with Bekah, I knew it was past time to write about what a crazy, unpredictable, yet somehow good, year 2018 was. So much of what happened this year was unexpected, and it really was a pleasant surprise after a very tough 2017.

In fact, last year a group of us from The Geekiary got together on New Year’s Eve and sent 2017 out with a big FUCK YOU. I then watched the ball drop with Brian, a person I met just over five years ago and who has since become one of my best friends. My very best, really.

To be honest, many of the people who I call my closest friends are people I’ve met within the past five years…which means they likely got to know me when I was at my worst, and then stuck with me through some of my darkest times.

This year, though…this year was different. It wasn’t always great – in fact, at times it was really, really damn hard – but more and more I’ve come to understand that after four years, I can finally, truthfully say that I’ve put myself back together. Yes, there are still pieces missing, and maybe they always will be…but I no longer let those pieces define me, or keep me from making deep connections with people.

I’m not even sure if this past year, and my ability to view it as an overall good year, is a cause or a product of my being so very nearly whole again. But now that 2018 is coming to an end, I can honestly say that I don’t think it matters.

I kicked off the year at MagFest, which was an entirely new experience to me. I got to hang out with Ice & Fire Con friends, play random old video games and pinball machines, watch late-night K-pop dance parties, and be part of a massive 5 AM McDonald’s delivery courtesy of a lawyer who works for (with?) Twitch. I’m not sure I’ll make it back to MagFest anytime soon, but I don’t usually get to truly begin the year with a convention, and I’m glad it was that one.

magfest 2018 tara lynne ageeksaga

That was followed by an extended visit from a good friend of mine, who came all the way from Australia (#sorrynotsorry Scott) to be tortured with caramel M&M’s, the Game of Thrones drinking game, and Hamilton (the musical, of course), among other things. Seriously, there are few things I love more than getting to spend time with convention friends outside of conventions 🙂

tara lynne ageeksaga 2018

In February I ran my first half marathon, Disney’s Princess Half, and wow was that one of the most difficult and amazing things I’ve ever done. I’ve never had a problem running a good 6 miles; I’ve even done so in the nearly 100-degree heat of a Florida summer. But more than 13 miles? I certainly couldn’t have done that back in my 20s, and despite the struggle of that last mile especially, despite the aches and pains I felt for days afterward, I am amazed at what my body can handle at this point in my life.

At what *I* can handle.

disney princess half marathon 2018 tara lynne ageeksaga

In fact, I ran the Star Wars 10K at Disney in April and at that point made my best 10K time ever…and celebrated by getting into Epcot before the park opened for an awesome breakfast, followed by riding Star Tours and drinking a lot of beer.

That was at the beginning of April; later that month was the sixth Ice & Fire Con, and it was…well, it was the best Ice & Fire Con since the very first one, and as the four conventions in between were all awesome, that’s saying something. And while all of that certainly bares repeating, there’s not much need to wax reminiscent about the experience as a whole, since I already did that in my annual Ice & Fire Con love letter.

wizarding world of harry potter 2018 tara lynne ageeksaga

May brought a visit from my good friend from high school, Judith, and although we only had about two days together, her visit combined with The United States of Americon (formerly KiwiCon) made for a great end to my time living in Orlando. Most of the summer was rough; the move itself was not easy, for so many reasons, and then I spent a long time just…getting settled again. There’s more to it than that, of course, but at least those months of struggle had a few high points – like attending the wedding of Ashley and Keith, THE OTP and two of the absolute best people I know.

tara lynne ageeksaga 2018

Right after “Keishleycon” was SDCC, and while that convention is always hit or miss for me, this year was definitely the former. Not only did I get to spend a lot of time with some Ice & Fire Con people and see those relationships grow, but I had great roommates, got to know some acquaintances a bit better, and hit it off with some entirely new friends.

sdcc 2018 tara lynne ageeksaga

I always count Dragon Con as the end of the summer, and this year was definitely one of my best Dragon Cons yet. I wore a lot of costumes, was on a lot of panels, and (surprise surprise?) spent most of my time with Ice & Fire Con pals. It was lovely to have some of those Ice & Fire Con friendships grow at/because of Dragon Con, and I still found time to get to know some other friends better, as well.

dragon con 2018 tara lynne ageeksaga

This fall brought its own challenges, but thankfully I had the best of people by my side, whether they were just listening to me, helping to distract me, or giving me advice. Then I hosted some more visitors and an awesome Halloween party, bested my April 10K time at the Disney Food & Wine 10K, and got to spend basically the entire month of November losing myself in Red Dead Redemption 2.

The year culminated in a birthday extravaganza that’s up there with my 2016 “Florida Bounding” trip and my 30th birthday in Vegas in 2012. I hadn’t been on a straight-up vacation – one in which wasn’t speaking/working at a convention or in a wedding – in two years, and the last time I went on a vacation for more than a few days was back in the summer of 2015. Being able to take the entire week of my birthday off and spend it in California, visiting Disneyland and LA, and then stopping off in Vegas for four days of craziness, was a perfect end to my XXth year on this earth…and an even more perfect beginning to the next one 😉

tara lynne ageeksaga disneyland 2018
tara lynne ageeksaga las vegas 2018

There was certainly more to 2018 than races and visitors and vacations, and I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the more ‘everyday’ highlights – things like finally launching my own podcast, having [perhaps too much] fun with The Bitching Dead webcast, helping launch the Greenville chapter of Geek Girl Brunch, taking my niece to a baseball game for her birthday, watching the Red Sox win the world series again…shoot, just generally falling in love with Greenville again.

tara lynne ageeksaga red sox greenville drive 2018

And in case it wasn’t clear, my friends were such a large part of what made this year amazing. To everyone who helped me make all of the aforementioned memories…to everyone who took the time to get to know me, and to let me get to know you…thank you for being you and may 2019 bring you great things <3

As for me? I’m going to barrel into 2019 with a carnival-themed New Year’s Eve party, another Disney half marathon, and a lengthy Ice & Fire Con to-do list…and the hope that I can make next year another good one.

Be not so nervous, be not so frail
Someone watches you, you will not fail
Be not so nervous, be not so frail
Be not so nervous, be not so frail

Be not so sorry for what you’ve done
You must forget them now, it’s done
And when you wake up you will find that you can run
Be not so sorry for what you’ve done
Be not so sorry for what you’ve done

Be not so fearful, be not so pale
Someone watches you, you will not leave the rails
Be not so fearful, be not so pale
Be not so fearful, be not so pale

Be not so sorry for what you’ve done
You must forget them now, it’s done
And when you wake up you will find that you can run
Be not so sorry for what you’ve done
Be not so sorry for what you’ve done

tara lynne ageeksaga 2018